What’s Calling You?

Jan 21

Hello,

Over the past year, I've had the same conversation over and over again.

Someone reaches out—a former colleague, a parent returning to work after years at home, a friend facing becoming an empty-nester—and they tell me their story. They've been laid off. They're burned out. Their kids are grown and they're wondering what's next. They're realizing the work that once felt meaningful doesn't anymore.

And then they ask: "What should I do next?"

But here's what I've realized:

Sometimes, what they're really asking is: "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? Is this my purpose? Or have I been living someone else's version of what matters?"

These aren't people who lack drive or dedication. They're talented, hardworking people who've been showing up, doing what needs to be done, taking care of what's in front of them.

But somewhere along the way, they stopped asking themselves what they actually want.

And now—whether through job loss, life transition, burnout, or just a growing sense that something's off—they're finally pausing long enough to wonder: What am I meant to do? What brings me alive?

THE PROBLEM WITH "WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT?"

Here's what I kept noticing in these conversations: People immediately wanted to jump to the answer. They wanted immediate clarity on which direction to go, which path made sense, what their next move should be.

But they were skipping the most important step.

Before you can figure out what's next, you need to understand what actually lights you up. Not what's practical. Not what you're good at. Not what other people expect or need from you.

What genuinely energizes you.

Most people have never taken the time to figure that out. They've spent years doing what needed to be done—earning a living, raising kids, meeting expectations, being responsible—without ever asking whether any of it actually brings them alive.

So when transition hits—whether it's forced or chosen—they're left trying to think their way to the answer. Making pro/con lists. Analyzing options. Asking everyone else for advice.

But you can't think your way to purpose. You have to feel your way toward it, too.

THE COMPETENCE TRAP

Here's the thing that makes this even more interesting: You're probably very good at the things that drain you.

You've spent years developing skills that other people value, that get rewarded, that look impressive. You're competent. Maybe even excellent.

But competence and calling are not the same thing.

Just because you're good at something doesn't mean it's what you're meant to do. Many of us are trapped in the gap between what we're good at and what genuinely lights us up.

YOUR BODY ALREADY KNOWS

Here's the truth: You do know what you want. Your body has been trying to tell you all along.

When you're in a meeting that feels wrong, your chest tightens. When you're working on something that doesn't align with your values, you feel heavy. When someone asks you to take on one more thing you don't want to do, your stomach clenches.

Your body is constantly sending you signals about what expands you and what contracts you. What brings you alive and what depletes you.

The problem isn't that you don't know. The problem is that you've stopped listening.

It's time to start listening.

TRY IT RIGHT NOW: 5-MINUTE DISCOVERY

I'm going to give you 6 different scenarios. As you read each one, I want you to notice how your body responds.

First, take three deep breaths. Let your shoulders drop. Let your jaw soften.

Then, for each prompt below:

• Close your eyes and imagine yourself in that scenario for 15-30 seconds

• Notice: Does your chest open or close?

• Do you feel lighter or heavier?

• Does energy move through you or do you feel stuck?

• Does it feel like a "yes" or a "no" in your body?

Ready? Here we go.

PROMPT 1: You're creating something with your hands (cooking, building, crafting, making art).